Monthly Archives: August 2017

Ah was discussing Dug Biscuits wi Chrissie B last week and we both came to the conclusion that it’s cruelty. Ah don’t think that at any point in History, Beagles, who were riddled wi’ cancer, got together and thought, ‘how can we make ourselves even more miserable ? Oh, we’ll hint to the humans that we’re sick of eating the stuff that’s been quite a help to us throughout our evolution and we’ll start eating stuff that looks and tastes awfy’. Not being an expert on Dugs, ah could’ny say if it tastes awfy but, for Thirteen years, the Broons had Ben the Dug and he never got dried food. Ah had ma own wee Dug, Nip and he never had dry food in his short life, before the daft wee C–t got run over. Ah had Trixie the Jock Russell for a week. It happened to be the week a poacher friend got me enough Salmon and Venison to last a week, and Trixie never Once looked at the dry food which was provided for her, preferring instead ma baked Salmon and mashed Tatties and ma Venison Casserole.

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Well, this is the First Cancer Diary in almost Two years where I am free of the Cancer and in full remission. Thanks to Sir Digory Lapwing for the remission present. It’s been a journey that my long forgotten ancestor, Vasco the Thomson, would have been proud of. His voyage was the First to circumnavigate the Pumphy Pond, although Vasco himself was fatally and mortally murdered at the Cape of Livi punks Buzzin the glue.  Anyway, that’s been great news but I must say that in all the time I had the Cancer I never felt close to death. I felt awfy and wished that I could’ve gone into a coma until it was all over, but at no time did I ever think ‘Fuck, this is it’. Thoughts like that were reserved for the Heart attack, although, to be honest, I can now only remember the desperate gasping for air, the drenching sweat and a vague recollection of being put on a stretcher thing. The next thing I remember is being sick and those awfy few Seconds where I had to keep it in my mouth until the Nurse got a sick thing for me to be sick into. Which, compared to a couple of Hours before, when I’d ‘died’ for the Second time, was a result. Hopefully, the Vape will help me stop the Baccy habit. That’ll be the thing that gets me if I don’t stop it soon. Mind you, the Cancer I had is a ‘ volatile and unpredictable’ form, so it could come back and make a return to the good ship Scud at anytime. Everyone has been super supportive and I feel like George Bailey at times – ‘The richest man in Town. Thanks to Chrissie B, and Douglas, Davy B and Julie, Linda B and Nick, and Paty and Sam for being the best family I could ever wish to have.  To Hamo and Jim W, Two of my auldest and dearest pals, thanks for all your help and support, not only over the last couple of years, but for ever, really. Last, but not least, thanks to the Boabby Thomson Cancer Bus [ Callum, Dunc and I ] and the Boabby Thomson ‘Cultyur’ Bus [ Callum, Dunc, Annette and I ]. The miles covered, sights seen and laughs had on the Bus have been a huge part of my recovery and my introduction to live classical music, by the Cultyur Bus, has amazing.