Monthly Archives: March 2016

We’ve all got Laptops and Tablets and phones that play music – I love music and I love making up playlists on my Laptop – Hippie Favourites, Classical favourites, 60’s, Santana, opera, whatever. I’ve got my big ‘Fuck off Favourites’ list – 127 songs and 8 hours long that I play almost every day- I’m always adding to it and shuffling the order about. It’s more or less all the songs that I have never tired of listening to, whether I heard them for the first time last month or in the Sixties when I first became aware of the wonderful world of music – Georgy Girl, Downtown, It’s not unusual, Elusive Butterfly, Lazy Sunday Afternoon, Leavin’ on a Jet plane, Penny Lane, to mention just the tip of the tip of the Iceberg of the songs I was familiar with from an early age. Lilly the Pink, Where do you go to my lovely, -what a decade for music. Those were the catchy classics that were on the Radio all the time – I now love a lot of the music from the Sixties which was big at the time but I wasn’t big enough to understand or be aware of- Cream, The Who, Pink Floyd, Jimi Hendrix, Janis Joplin, The Grateful Dead, Bob Dylan. There are a few Sixties songs on my big playlist but only Four Santana songs, a bit surprising when you consider I have 22 of their CD’s and have seen them play Three times. I have a few songs or pieces of music on the playlist which would be on a separate ‘drifting off to death music’ playlist. ‘The Flower duet’, ‘Rave on John Donne’, Pie Jesu, ‘Send in the clowns’ [ the Barbra Big nose version], the ‘Buffalo Robe’, ‘The Girl with the Flaxen hair’, ‘Incident at Neshabur’. Neshabur was where Toussaint L’ouverture led his slave army to victory against the might of Napoleon over a month ago -the early 19th Century to be more precise- and if ye want more precise than that ye can eff off and Google it – ah’m Scud Broon fae Pumphy and no ‘Simon F in’ Schama. The final song on the playlist has and probably always will be ‘Albatross’ by Peter Greens Fleetwood Mac. I’d want that to be among the last songs I ever heard.

Well, I’ll find out today what treatment the hospital has in store for me regarding the auld cancer. I phoned today asking about pain killers – I’ve had a bad couple of nights, sleep wise. The pain in my right under arm down to my elbow is quite intense, my neck, especially the right side is the worst of all. Even more worrying is the wee twinge I get in my chest whenever I breathe in or out. The blood cancer/ Lymphoma hasn’t been great, but ever since Dr Maung told me in September that I had a 50/50 chance of surviving the cancer, my first thought was ‘at least I won’t have to do those shit shifts at B and Q for a while’. I was never worried about things – it’s a wee bit different now that ‘Plan A’ has failed. I’m determined that the wee holiday in France will be a great wee few days for Davy and I – we might not have many opportunities in the future to go on holiday again. The thought of being in the Parc des Princes Thirty Two years to the day since we were there for the last Euro’s in France is an exciting thought. Davy phoned today to tell me he’d ordered our France tops- I’ll have my France 82 top with ‘Tresor’ on the back and my France 84 top with ‘Giresse’ on the back of that. Hopefully this cancer will have a heart and let me see France in June. ….. It’s now 5.30pm and Dr McNeil phoned earlier. I’ve to go to St Jocks tomorrow morning to see him about the chemo. I’ve to get a different kind of chemo therapy this time -just my luck that my body hair is back to about 90% of what it was pre last chemo – now it looks as though my Parisienne night with Fifi le F–k and Nat king Cole will be called off. I’ve also to give blood samples and get cancer pain killers – my lapse on Saturday will no doubt show up on the blood samples -after no fags of any kind since the Heart attack in October [Five Months and a week ] I had a few joints and I must admit I thoroughly enjoyed every one of them – not enough to want to make a habit of it again, but enough to make me celebrate the end of my next chemo with a wee Rastafarian roll up – if I make it. It was Mr M and Mrs M’s fault your honour- they made me dae it. No they didn’t – we had a good wee night and I can still drink from Eight at night till Eleven in the morning. I suppose it’s all about thinking the best – it could have been worse – the Doctor could have told me to organise an undertaker and a measuring tape.

Easter and Christmas mean nothing to me in their Christian sense other than them being a time when the Telly is better than the rest of the year. I remember having arguments with auld Scud about religion – he’d say we’d been brought up as Protestants and I’d get angry and say that ‘how can I be a Christian/Protestant when I have nothing but contempt and disdain for not only Christianity but all religions’. I find the whole Idea of a supreme creator who sent his only son to Earth to die and rise again up to the Kingdom of Heaven, at best laughable and at worse insulting. Auld Bunty was right, the Bible was written by Middle eastern people, about middle Eastern people, for middle Eastern people. Then auld Scud would come out with ‘it’s got bugger all tae dae wi’ God or Jesus’ and when I said ‘it’s got everything tae dae wi God and Jesus, he’d accuse me of being ‘thrawn and awkward, just like yer mother’. Then we’d end up shouting and swearing at each other – that’s F–kin’ religion for ye. If we have to worship something, let it be the Sun or the Moon or the Rivers or Seas or the seasons of the year [ apart from Winter because who wants to celebrate the cauld ?] Let it be real, at least.

I’ll begin by mentioning that I live in Craigshill and by ‘Wildlife’ I mean Flora and Fauna and not the wild women that come oot the Tower singing ‘The Sash’ or ‘Danny Boy’. Mind you, if Flora and Fauna both walked out of the Tower at the same time singing ‘The Sash’ and ‘Danny Boy’, I’m quite sure that David Attenborough would have enough material for an epic series or Two. Anyway, the Wildlife I’m speaking of in particular are Starlings. I’ve got a fair sized Tree outside the flat and it’s a favourite haunt for, other than Starlings, Cushy Doos [or Wood Pigeons as non Pumphy people call them – a pot pourri of Bawbags, hoors and comic singers],Magpies and Crows. Earlier I saw some Starlings and they were all cleaning and preening themselves – it was almost like synchronised preening. With it coming into breeding and nesting season, they were obviously getting ready for the ‘Starry Lamp’ and an attempt to ‘get a Burd’. Flora and Fauna fae the Tower, however, will breed all year round if there is enough Cider, Heroin and Darts. I get Gulls as well – big Bastards who are just trying to live like all the other birds, but big Bastards, nevertheless. They’re back at my window after a good while away. I used to hide just under the window after putting food out for the Birds on the window box, then, when I heard the clumping about of Gulls outside I would jump up quickly and scare the shite oot them. After a few days of this, they buggered off and left the food for the Starlings, Magpies, Doos and whatever else dropped in. If I stay still enough the birds will happily eat away – I’ve whistled at the Pigeons and they look around with that glaikit look that they have when they’re no’ quite sure if there’s danger lurking or not. This time last year I’d just moved into the flat and just a few weeks later the Magpies were nesting outside and I used to watch them build their nest – going in a different way every day to outwit the Crows. Sadly, after returning from Bordeaux last May I discovered that the nest had been abandoned – no doubt the Crow that I’d seen dodging about near the nest chased the Magpies off for good.

It certainly feels like Springtime today -a beautiful, sunny day. It is still a bit cold and I have seen at first hand today the out and out Bawbaggery of some people in this country who go mad when the sun comes out. You sometimes see them in the shopping centre or near the Mall at crazyhill – on a January day when the sun is strong but not warm enough to be out and about in T-shirts and shorts. It was a bit like that today, people outside dressed for a beautiful day in the summer and it’s not even April yet – F–k them, I hope they get run over by a tractor. I bought Tuscan beans to add to my Corned beef hash – £1.39 for a tin of beans from the Scotmid. I’m hoping a nice dinner will pick me up a bit. I have not had any Ranitidine/Zantac for Three days. It isn’t one of the life saving tablets, like the Aspirin and Clopidogrel, but I would imagine that after being given it on prescription, it must have some importance. Anyway I’m off to listen to some Birdy – got her new CD Friday.

Had a bit of a blow out on Saturday and will probably pay for it – I’m certainly suffering a bit from it. Had a few Glayvas, some Baileys a bottle of wine and some Rastafarian old Holburns. I certainly won’t be making a habit of it but I must admit smoking a joint felt good but knowing that it won’t be doing me any good is enough to not be doing it again any time soon. I did say to the Doctor that I would nip it in the bud [ no pun intended ] and that’s me till I’m killed or cured of this Cancer. My own guess is that I’m f–ked, but I’m not a Doctor, so, can’t be sure. Missing my tablets or being erratic at best with them has to stop. It’s not as if I’ve got dozens to take. Not going to bed till Eleven in the morning and not taking my night time tablets, then not getting up till half Ten at night and being half a day late with my morning tablets won’t do. I still feel a bit sore -my neck and back especially.

While researching my family history I stumbled across an old dog eared document. If I was a tidy person I wouldn’t have stumbled upon it but I tripped up over something that would’ve been put away if I was a tidy person, but I’m not and that’s why I stumbled. Anyway, the document was ‘The history of Boabby Thomson – from Bannockburn to the Bings’. In fact there is evidence to suggest that in Roman times there was a slave uprising in Pumpheii, which is now roughly modern day Pumphy, apart from the Cawburn and the Bookies, and which was twinned with Pompeii, which was buried under the ash of Vesuvius in 79 AD. In an eerie and chilling coincidence on the anniversary of the Pompeii eruption, in 1899, a part of the Hairy Tip fell away as a landslide and buried alive the unfortunate shale miner, Boabby Thomson, who was doing a jobby in the ‘dry shite hoose’ at the time. Even more eerily and chillingly coincidental was the fact was that the evidence alluded to earlier was that the Boabby Thomson who jobbied and died [ forensics later concluded that imminent burial alive and subsequent death would certainly have helped to empty his Bowels] was,in fact a descendant of the female chief of the ancient spur Boabbycea – or Boabbica, as she is now referred to – the same Boabbycea who led the slave uprising against the Romans. The uprising was eventually crushed about where the Krazy Kuts used to be and rather than being taken alive Boabbycea committed suicide by taking poison -she had a pint of Lager in the ‘VII Oaksium – a drinking den in old Pumpheii. Her husband, also Boabbycea, escaped with their Nine children and changed his name to the more Roman friendly Boabbius Maximus Thomsonius. They are the ancestors of all the Boabby Thomsons who have followed. Next time – from the end of the Roman Empire up to Boabby Thomson’s part in the victories at Falkirk and Bannockburn.

Last night was ‘awfy’. I was in quite a bit of pain – the lump on my neck has grown and is sore to the touch and both sides of my neck are sore -watching a live Tennis match would be an ordeal as it’s painful to look from side to side. The worst part is my underarm and chest. I can’t lie on my right side and throw in my Arthritis which has reached an all time and my numb feet and legs and I sometimes think ‘what’s the point’. It’s easy for people to say ‘stay positive’, ‘chin up’ and all that shite and they are only trying to help, but, believe me, it’s hard to stay positive when you are constantly in pain and discomfort. Roll on June Sunshine and Paris.

In my music collection there are a few artists who I like enough to have quite a few CD’s of theirs. Santana are my no. 1 in that respect – I have 22 CD’s, taking in their debut album from 1969 all the way to SANTANA 4, which comes out on April 15th [ that will be Santana 23 for me]. Next up is Jeff Beck on 14, Led Zeppelin on 10,Jefferson Airplane on 7 and Stevie Wonder, Pink Floyd, Bob Dylan and Ocean colour all on 5.

Here is an A to Z of the Artists, Bands ,Groups, C–ts, whatever you want to call them, of whom I have One or more CD’s. It’s a bit of a fanny thing to do, but my flat could burn down and I might not be able to replace them all and the way my memory is going I wouldn’t remember them all. ALLMAN BROTHERS, ART OF NOISE, ASIA, AVERAGE WHITE BAND,BADFINGER,BE BOP DELUXE,BEAUTIFUL SOUTH,JEFF BECK,PAT BENATAR,SOPHIE ELLIS BEXTOR,BIRDY,BLUE OYSTER CULT,SARAH BRIGHTMAN, DAVE BRUBECK,JEFF BUCKLEY, TIM BUCKLEY,CANNED HEAT,BELINDA CARLISLE,ERIC CLAPTON,JOE COCKER,JUDY COLLINS,CREAM,CREEDENCE CLEARWATER REVIVAL,CROWDED HOUSE,CULTURE CLUB,DEAD CAN DANCE,DEEP PURPLE,DEREK AND CLIVE,BARBARA DICKSON,DONOVAN,THE DOORS,BOB DYLAN,ELO,YVONNE ELLIMANROBERTA FLACK,FLEETWOOD MAC,PETER FRAMPTON,GABRIELLE,GENESIS,GRATEFUL DEAD,STEVE HACKETT,IMOGEN HEAP,HEART,HOOTIE AND THE BLOWFISH,HUE AND CRY,ISLEY BROTHERS,THE JAM,JEFFERSON AIRPLANE,JETHRO TULL,ELTON JOHN,NORAH JONES,KANSAS,KINGS OF LEON, LADY GAGA,RAY LAMONTAGNE,CYNDI LAUPER,LED ZEPPELIN,NOLWENN LEROY,GORDON LIGHTFOOT,LINDISFARNE,MADONNA,MOODY BLUES,LOVE,LOVIN’ SPOONFUL,BOB MARLEY,JOHN MARTYN,DON McLEAN, MELANIE,OCEAN COLOUR SCENE,PINK,PINK FLOYD,RAINBOW,RED HOT CHILLI PEPPERS,RENAISSANCE,SANTANA,SIMON AND GARFUNKEL,SLY AND THE FAMILY STONE,GRACE SLICK,SONGBIRDS,STEELY DAN,STEREOPHONICS,CAT STEVENS,BARBRA STREISAND,THE STRANGLERS,STYX,THE SUNDAYS,DONNA SUMMER,SUPERTRAMP,T REX,TANGERINE DREAM,JAMES TAYLOR,TEARS FOR FEARS,10,000 MANIACS,UB40,U2,VANGELIS,THE WALKER BROTHERS,PAUL WELLER,STEVIE WONDER,WOODSTOCK,THEYARDBIRDS,YES,NEIL YOUNG. -CLASSICAL MUSIC/ SOUNDTRACKS – BORODIN,DEBUSSY,KARL JENKINS,KATHERINE JENKINS,MIKLOSROZSA,- DANCES WITH WOLVES,A FISTFUL OF DOLLARS,A FISTFUL OF DYNAMITE,THE GOOD,THE BAD AND THE UGLY,MIDNIGHT COWBOY,MY FAIR LADY,THE PRIVATE LIFE OF SHERLOCK HOLMES,ROBINSON CRUSOE [60’s TV Show],THE SHAWSHANK REDEMPTION,TO KILL A MOCKINGBIRD.