F–K UEFA and FIFA

I can’t forgive UEFA and FIFA for destroying the game that I love[d]. Having the Eight Champions League Second round ties spread over a Fortnight is the height of nonsense.Of course,it’s all about money,now, and sponsors and TV – common sense has taken a back seat and it looks like it’ll stay in the back seat for a long time to come.The last Sixteen of the ‘Champions’ League has Four teams each from England and Germany and Three from Spain-that’s almost Three Quarters of the draw from just Three countries.Why don’t they re-name it the ‘We’re no’really interested unless you’re a big team from an elite League in Europe with a Billionaire chairman’ League. If you go back to March 1984 you’ll find that Dundee United were preparing to meet Rapid Vienna in the Quarter Final of the old ‘European Champion Clubs Cup'[Thankfully, from day One, it was known simply as ‘The European Cup’]-not Two of Europe’s richest or most glamourous clubs by any means,but Two clubs that had earned the right to compete in the Champions cup by winning their respective domestic League titles. In those days,the UEFA Cup would have Four clubs from England,Spain Italy and West Germany-making it like the Champions League of today.It would have made more sense to play the Super Cup between the winners of the European Cup and the UEFA Cup-the Cup Winners Cup was always thought of as being a poor mans European Cup-alot of the bigger Countries either didn’t take their Cup competition seriously or never had One at all and if you look at the Finals down the years you’ll notice that the bigger clubs of today, or back then, never dominated the trophy. Sadly,since the formation of the Champions League, the oldest Cup competition in the World[the FA Cup],has become a pale shadow of it’s former self.Gone are the days when a lower or non League team could draw one of the Giants and expect to see all the top players in action-now,a non League side drawing Man City or Chelsea or Arsenal would be lucky to see a couple of First team regulars on the opposite side-and all because The Champions League has become so lucrative.An FA Cup win pales into insignificance beside a top Four League finish-changed days indeed.

Premier League History-Part Two-76-77

Celtic were Champions this season-after an indifferent opening Quarter they lost only Two of the next Twenty Seven matches.They were top by mid December and never looked like losing the League.They scored a record number of Premier League goals[79] and failed to score in only Three matches.Glavin,19[5 pens],craig,16,Dalglish,14[2 pens] were their top scorers.Thirteen different players scored their goals and One opponent scored for them.They also set a new points record[55] Rangers battled it out for the Runner up spot for most of the season with Aberdeen,before pulling away in the last few weeks of the season,finishing on 46 points,Three ahead of The Dons.Rangers scored 62 times in the League[12 different scorers],including Seven pens.Parlane,16 and Johnstone, 15 were the top scorers. Aberdeen scored 56 times in the League[14 different scorers],with Joe Harper their only player to hit Double figures,18,including Three pens. Dundee Utd scored 54 League goals[scored by 11 Utd players and 1 Hearts player],including Two pens by Goalie Hamish MacAlpine.Sturrock,15 and Wallace,13 were there double figures goalscorers.They finished on Forty One points,Two behind The Dons. Partick Thistle’s great form at home certainly helped them to a comfortable 5th place[35 pts]-only relegated Hearts and Killie and Motherwell had poorer away records.Losing only Four of Eighteen home matches,however,kept them safe from the threat of relegation.They lost 1-5 v 4th placed Dundee Utd, 2-4 v Champs Celtic and strangely Twice 0-1 and 0-2 v Ayr Utd.They won both Home matches against Rangers 4-3 and 2-1.They scored 40 goals[scored by 11 players]including an og.Four were pens-Two scored by Alan Hansen.Doug Somner netted Eleven goals[2 pens]. Hibs finished in 6th place on Thirty Four pts.They won Eight,lost Ten and drew Eighteen matches,scored 34 goals and conceded 35.Ten different players scored the goals and One og made it 34. Motherwell finished Two points behind Hibs on 34 and ,like Partick Thistle, had their fine home form to thank for keeping them safe from the drop.They lost only Three of Eighteen Home matches-2-4 v A yr Utd 0-2 v Rangers and 1-3 v Aberdeen.They scored 57 League goals[Nine different scorers],including Two by Celtics Andy Lynch in one match[3-0 Motherwell] and another og scored by Hearts.Willie Pettigrew scored 21 goals and former Hibs legend Jimmy o’Rourke,who was relegated St Johnstone’s top scorer the previous season with Eight goals was ‘wells 2nd top scorer this season with Nine goals. Ayr United finished in 8th place on Thirty points and in contrast to Partick and Motherwell it was their Away form which saved them from relegation-only Champions Celtic and Runners up Rangers won more points away from Home than Ayr.Ten players scored their 44 League goals[Three pens]McCall was their top scorer with 16 goals. Two wins in their last Fifteen matches helped to relegate Hearts-they finished on 27 points-Three behind Ayr.They scored 49 League goals,Willie Gibson scoring 15 times. Killie finished bottom on 17 points and failed to win a match away from home.They only managed 32 goals[Ten different scorers] but Fallis did score Ten of them.

A premier League History-Stats and Facts-1975-76

pld won Dr lost F–A won Dr lost F–A Pts RANGERS 36 15 2 1 38-12 8 6 4 21-12 54 CELTIC 36 10 5 3 35-18 11 1 6 36-24 48 HIBERNIAN 36 13 2 3 37-15 5 5 8 21-25 43 MOTHERWELL 36 11 4 3 29-18 5 4 9 28-31 40 HEARTS 36 7 5 6 23-19 6 4 8 16-25 35 AYR UTD 36 10 3 5 29-24 4 3 12 17-35 33 ABERDEEN 36 8 5 5 27-19 3 5 10 22-31 32 DUNDEE UTD 36 9 3 6 27-20 3 5 10 19-28 32 DUNDEE 36 8 5 5 31-26 3 5 10 18-36 32 ST JOHNSTONE 36 3 4 11 19-34 0 1 17 10-45 11 So ended the very First Premier League season in Scotland.Rangers,the last team to win the old League title in 1974/75 became the First team to win the new Premier League title in 1975/76.On August 30,1975 the Glasgow rivals began their League campaign against each other at Ibrox in front of a 69,000 crowd,which,to this day,is still the Premier Leagues biggest ever attendance.Rangers scored Fifty Nine goals[by Fifteen different players,Four were own goals-Two in One match and Two were Penalties.Two of their players reached Double figures in the League,Derek Johnstone,15 and willie Henderson,10.Twenty Three players were used that season. Celtic scored Seventy One goals[scored by Eleven different players],including Five penalties and Three players reached double figures with League goals-Kenny Dalglish,24,Dixie Deans,15 and Bobby Lennox,10.They used Twenty Four players that season. Hibs scored Fifty Five goals,Fourteen different scorers,including Two own goals and Five penalties[Four of them scored by ex Pumphy Juniors and Scotland legend John’Onions’ Brownlie].Arthur Duncan scored Thirteen League goals. Hibs used Twenty Three players. Motherwell scored Fifty Seven League goals[by Twelve different scorers],including One o.g and Five penalties.Willie Pettigrew scored 22 League goals and ‘Well used Nineteen players. Hearts scored Thirty Nine goals[Nine different scorers],including Two o.g’s,and Three penalties.They used Twenty One players. Ayr United scored Forty Six goals[Ten different scorers] including Five penalties-John Graham scored 16 league goals and was One of Twenty Two players Ayr used in the League. Aberdeen scored Forty Nine League goals[Nine different scorers]including Four penalties and One o.g.Jocky Scott was their top scorer with Fourteen goals they used Twenty Seven players. Dundee United scored Forty Six League goals[Twelve different scorers]including Four penalties-One scored by the Goalkeeper,Hamish McAlpine They used Twenty Four players.Top scorer Tom McAdam[12]. Dundee scored Forty Nine goals[scored by 14 players]including One o.g and Nine penalties[Gordon Strachan scored Three of them].Gordon Wallace was their top scorer with Twelve goals and they used Twenty Four players. St Johnstone scored Twenty Nine goals in the League[Ten different scorers] including One o.g.Top scorer was former Hibs legend Jimmy o’Rourke with Eight goals.They used Twenty Four players. At the end of the First Premier League season [1975-76] Two Hundred and Thirty One players were used and One Hundred and Sixteen of them scored Four Hundred and Ninety One goals.Forty Two penalties were scored, with Dundee scoring Nine and Twelve Own Goals were scored-Celtic and St Johnstone scoring Three each.The Top Five League Goalscorers were Dalglish[Celtic],24-Pettigrew[Motherwell],22-Graham[Ayr Utd]16-Johnstone[Rangers]15 and Scott[Dundee]14. Twice,in the course of the season Nine goals were scored in a match-Motherwell winning 6-3 at Dens Park and Celtic winning 7-2 at Somerset Park.In the Four League matches between Ayr and Celtic,Twenty Four goals were scored.Celtic winning 7-2 and 5-3 away from home,and winning,3-1 and losing,1-2 at home.The 1976-77 stats will follow soon.

PREMIER LEAGUE HISTORY -Pt 6 – A Five season summary

In Five years of the premier league the old firm had won it Twice, been runners up Twice and finished Fifth Once. Over the Five years Rangers amassed 237 points[averaging Forty Nine per season]Celtic were on 234 points[av,Forty Eight],Aberdeen had 218 points for an average of Forty Four per season-Dundee United had 194 points for an average of Thirty Eight per season. Hibs were the only other team to play in the top division in its first five years. Records- Most points in a season 55,Rangers 1977/78-most wins in a season-24,Rangers 1977/78-fewest goals conceded in a season 24, Rangers, 1975/76-most goals scored in a season 79,Celtic 1976/77-fewest defeats in a season 4,Celtic 1976/77 -fewest points in a season 11,St Johnstone 1975/76-fewest wins in a season 3,St Johnstone 1975/76-most defeats in a season 28,St Johnstone 1975/76-most goals conceded in a season 86,Motherwell 1978/79 -fewest goals scored in a season 23,Clydebank 1977/78. Over the course of those first Five years Rangers lost just Eight league games at home-Twice to Aberdeen and St Mirren and once to Hibs,Dundee United,Celtic and Hearts. Celtic lost Eleven matches at home in the same period-Four against Motherwell,Three against Aberdeen,Two[in the same season]against St Mirren and One each against Hibs and Ayr United. Aberdeen,St Mirren and Hibs were the only sides who recorded victories away from home against both halves of the old firm after Five seasons of the premier league. Outwith the league those same Five seasons saw Dundee United and Aberdeen each win the league cup and Aberdeen lose a final.The old firm dominated the Scottish cup during this period-Rangers winning it Three times and reaching the final Twice,losing to Celtic both times-Hibs,Aberdeen and Hearts all reached,and lost,the final.

wee premier league history-part three -1978-79

At the end of the next season [78/79] Dundee United were top after playing their Thirty Six matches-unfortunately for united a terrible winter[some teams didn’t play for Two months] caused a huge fixture back log and the old firm had enough games in hand take the top Two places-Celtic finishing top with Forty Eight points,Rangers Three points behind.United finished Third with Forty Four points and Aberdeen ended up in Fourth place with Forty points. Hibs,in Fifth place,had a fine season at home-losing only Twice and conceding less than a goal a game. St Mirren and Morton finished on Thirty Six points each,a point behind Hibs and Eighth placed Partick Thistle were only Eleven points behind runners up,Rangers.Hearts and Motherwell finished well off the pace with Twenty Three and Seventeen points respectively. So,after four seasons of Premier league football things seemed to be a bit more competitive but it was still Fourteen years since a team outwith the old firm had won the league. The 1979-80 season was the season when the storm from the East first blew across the premier league. Aberdeen finally broke the old firm duopoly when they finished the season as champions,a point ahead of Celtic[Forty Seven] and Six ahead of Third placed St Mirren who ended up on Forty Two points.Dundee United and Rangers were Fourth and Fifth,respectively,finishing the season on Thirty Seven points-Eleven points behind champions,Aberdeen and Eleven points ahead of relegated Dundee.The Dark Blues had the small consolation of not finishing bottom on account of Hibs losing Twenty Four of Thirty Six league matches.Sixteen of their Eighteen points were won at home. Dundee United kept Fourteen clean sheets in their Eighteen home matches,conceding just six goals and losing Two matches.Earlier in the season United picked up their first major honour when they beat Aberdeen in the League cup final-with Celtic winning the Scottish cup we had the Three major trophies being won by Three different teams.So,a healthy argument for the premier league achieving what it set out to achieve.Some facts and figures to come in part Four

In response to an E.Mail from Davy B

A while back I’d mentioned to my brother the German footballer who smoked the silk cut fags-‘Low tar Mattheus’ and it got me thinking about some other daft stuff.There was the famous Dutch player from the Seventies who was the dope smokers worst nightmare-Johan Naeskins and his ex team mate who ended up selling condoms on club 18-30 holidays-Johnny Rep.That train of thought then headed off on a wee branch line to mad fitba’ teams.Now that We’re all European we should trade names with euro zone fitba’ teams.We could have Borrussia Newton Wamphray,Red star Lasswade,Florence mechanics,K.G.B Strollers and last,but by no means least,Dukla Pumpherston. you never know,it might turn out to be a hit-which is more than can be said for the euro zone. I know next to nothing about politics and my interest in economics goes as far as trying not to run out of Tea bags and Roll ups but even Helen Keller,in a cave with Forty feet of heavy duty blackout curtain wrapped aroond her heid,would be able to figure out that something’s no’ right here.  Thousands of years ago people from the Eastern Mediterranean and North Africa traded with people from ‘The Tin Isles'[what they called Britain] and they seemed to dodge away nicely without a single currency.

PREMIER LEAGUE HISTORY Pt 2 1977-78

A  look at the final table for the 77-78 season showed that the main aim of the Premier League-to loosen the old firm domination of Scottish football-might not be far away.Aberdeen finished up Two points behind champions,Rangers,with Fifty Three points.The Dons won Three of their Four league matches against the Ibrox club,scoring Ten goals and conceding Four.Dundee United were Third with Forty points,Hibs were Fourth on Thirty Seven.  Celtic,the Champions,ended up in Fifth place,losing Fifteen of Thirty Six league matches.They lost Four times at Celtic park -0-1 twice to Motherwell and 1-2 twice to St Mirren. Clydebank,after back to back promotions,found life in the Premier league tough and were relegated along with Ayr United who were Six points behind Eighth placed St Mirren.

PREMIER LEAGUE HISTORY Pt 1-1975-76 /76-77

Lake District 1972

Baby faced Davy and wee fat Bastard

The premier League was formed in an attempt to make Scottish football more competitive and loosen the grip of the old firm duopoly.In its first year Rangers were champions[and treble winners]and in the first ever old firm premier league Derby,on the first Saturday of the newly formed Premier League,the biggest crowd in Premier League history turned up at Ibrox to watch-and to sing songs about stuff that happened ages ago in another country. Rangers won Twenty Three and lost Five of their Thirty six matches,finishing Six points ahead of Celtic,who lost Nine matches.Hibs won Thirteen of their Eighteen home games,losing Three and finished Five points behind Celtic and Eleven behind Rangers,for their best ever premier league season.Eleven points was also the difference between Hibs and relegated Dundee,who lost out in the Dogfight to Dundee United,Aberdeen and Ayr united.Ayr finished in Sixth place on Thirty Three points- a point ahead of Aberdeen,United and Dundee who’s inferior goal difference saw them relegated.St Johnstone were the other relegated team after a desperate season which saw them draw One and lose Seventeen of their Eighteen league matches away from home.They won Three matches at home but,over all,lost Twenty Eight of Thirty Six matches.         .#Trivia-In two home matches with Celtic,Ayr United scored Five times-unfortunately for them Celtic scored Twelve times in 7-2 and 5-3 victories.Nine goals were also scored when Motherwell beat Dundee 6-3 at Dens Park.                The next season saw a reversal of fortunes for the old firm as Celtic lifted the League flag,finishing Eight points ahead of Rangers and also breaking their own premier League scoring record with Seventy Nine goals.Aberdeen and Dundee United who both avoided relegation on goal difference the previous season finished Third and Fourth,respectively and new boys Partick Thistle finished in Fifth place.Kilmarnock,who were promoted along with the Jags, found premier League life much tougher and went straight back down to the first Division.—#Trivia-For the second season in a row Motherwell were involved in a nine goal thriller,losing this time 5-4 away to Killie.       PART TWO to follow.

Welcome to the new look Scudbroon.com

Tam the wanker by Scud Broon

OOT THE PUB AND FU O’ WHISKY,
THEN GETTING  HAME AND FEELIN’ FRISKY,
THIS TRUTH FAND HONEST WANKER TAM,
PREPARIN FOR A NICHT WI PALM,
BUT SOMEONE STOLE HIS STASH O’ PORN,
HIS MATE WIS BRINGIN’ MARE THE MORN,
BUT TAM – WHIT GUID WIS THAT TAE YOU,
CHOKIN’ AN’ GAGGIN ON A PU?
AROOND THE HOOSE HE HAD A LOOK,
AND, CRIVVENS, FAND SOME DIRTY BOOKS,
BUT, JINGS OOR TAMMY SWAYED AND REELED,
WHEN THEIR CONTENTS WERE REVEALED,
TAM AW TAM HAD THEY BEEN KNAVERS,
OR ASIAN BABES OR SHAVEN RAVERS,
THIR BREEKS O’ YOURS THAT COST TWO BOB,
WAD’VE BEEN WHEECHT RICHT OFF TAE BARE YER KNOB.
AND YE’D  HAVE HAD THAT TINGLY BELLY,
AT THE THOCHT O’ PLAYIN WI YOUR WEE FELLY,
BUT HELP MA BOAB ‘AULD GANG BANG GRANNIES’
WI SUNKEN TITS AND SCARY FANNIES,
WID NE’ER PIT METTLE IN HIS COCK,
BUT MARE THAN LIKELY MAK HIM BOKE,
OOR TAMMY CRAVED SOME STIMULATION,
TO AID HIM WITH HIS MASTURBATION,
A CATALOGUE, A FREEMANS, SAY,
WI SCANTY SEE THROUGH LINGERIE,
WID NO BE GREAT BUT IT WID DAE,
TAE GET HIM STARTED  ON HIS WAY,
THEN, AS IF BY MAGIC , ONE APPEARED,
AND TAMMY THUMBED AND LOOKED AND LEERED,
AND SOON HIS KNOB WAS PRIMED FOR ACTION,
AS HE DREAMED O’ BLISS AND SATISFACTION,
THEN TAMMY SPIED A HANDY SOCK,
THAT HE COULD WRAP AROOND HIS COCK,
‘JINGS’ HE THOCHT ‘HOW GRAND AND BONNIE,
I’LL USE IT AS A RUBBER JOHNNY.
THE ONE STRING BANJO TAMMY PLAYED,
HE COULD BE HEARD FOR MILES, ITS SAID,
INDEED, TWAS  MUSIC TO THE EARS,
WI  TAM  ESPECIALLY CLOSE TO TEARS,
AS TAMMY CHUGGED SAE FAST AND FURIOUS,
THE NEEBORS AW BECAME QUITE CURIOUS,
THE MOANS, THE GROANS,THE CRIES, THE SHRIEKS,
MADE AULD JEAN NEAR SHITE HER BREEKS,
BUT NOSEY JACK WHA’ LIVED NEXT DOOR,
HE WASNY DAFT AND KNEW THE SCORE,
A WANKER ONCE HE’D BEEN HIMSEL,
HE KNEW THE SIGNS AND HE COULD TELL,
“YA DIRTY HOOR” AULD NOSEY BELLOWED,
AND TAM WAS ONE EMBARRASED FELLOW,
BUT JINGS HE COULDN’Y GIVE A SHIT ,
HE WAS NEARLY AT THE TICKLY BIT,
HE RUBBED AND TUGGED WI  FURIOUS MICHT,
TILL WOW – HE SAW AN UNCO SICHT,
SPUNK ON WINDIES, DOORS AND FLAIRS,
ALONG THE LOBBY AND DOON THE STAIRS,
EVEN AN ELELPHANT MICHT TURN HIS HEID,
AT THE VAST AMOUNT O’ TAMMY’S SEED,
OOR TAM WAS SPENT AND COULDN’Y CARE,
AND THREW THE SOCK BEHIND A CHAIR,
BUT THEN HIS MATE CAME OOT THE SHOWER,
HE HAD HIS WORK AT HALF PAST FOWER,
HE’D LOST A SOCK, SEARCHED EVERYWHERE,
EXCEPT THAT IS BEHIND THE CHAIR,
HE FUND  IT – TAM  THOCHT “HOLY SHIT”
AS HIS MUCKER PULLED IT OWER HIS FIT,
“WHIT THE FUCK” HIS BUDDY ROARED,
AND IN AN INSTANT TAM WAS FLOORED,
WHEN HE’D FELT TAM’S BUSINESS ON HIS FOOT,
HE HOOKED HIM ONCE AND LAID HIM OOT,
THEN HE KNOCKED POOR TAMMY  SILLY,
AND WI GAIRDEN SHEARS – CUT OFF HIS WILLY!

SO, IF TAE DIRTY BOOKS YE ARE INCLINED,
OR THE TEN MINUTE FREEVIEW RUNS THROUGH YER MIND,
OR IF YE SPY A HANDY SOCK,
REMEMBER TAM THE WANKERS COCK!