The Anniversary of Hell

Well, that’s that day over and done wi’. It was Thirty Six years ago yesterday ma faither died. What a Fuckin’ shit day that was. Ah think ah was still in shock and denial that he was deid in the first place and aw the Shite that came next was like ‘What the Fuck’?. As soon as ah saw ma faithers Coffin gettin’ carried in, ah said tae ma uncle Allan-‘That’s no’ ma faither’. Then the Coffin came right past me and ah saw a name on it that wisny ma faithers. What made it worse was that it was an Irish Catholic name. Ah had brief visions of Auld Scud [ ma Dads Faither] shoutin’ fae his gravestane just a few yards tae the left of the entrance ‘ Haw, there’s a Pape in that Box’. So there was this surreal burial when Gerry Adams was goin’ intae the hole ma Faither[ and ma brother Andrew] should’ve gone in. Add on top of that, a half pissed Mother wi’ the maist Summery dress ye’ve ever seen at a driech, dreary, miserable January day. Later on we had to do it all again when close family and friends watched ma faither get buried in the right hole. Ah’d gone tae ma Auntie Nells after the Second burial and sat for a wee while. Ah got home tae discover auld Bunty in her Carmen Miranda Dress pissed, finishin’ off ma Faithers Whiskey. The first thing she said as ah walked intae the livin’ room[ sittin’ in his auld seat – she could’ve pished in it and it widny’ve made it any more obvious that she was, noo, ‘Drivin’ the Bus’ as she liked tae put it] was ‘I loathed your Father’ . Ah aboot turned and went off tae ma room and just flopped ontae the bed and wished that today had never happened.


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