Woke up in a shitey mood – I missed my Doctor appointment to give blood for my chemo on Monday. Didny get up till half One and I’d missed a glorious day by the look of it. If One of those ‘live life to the max and cherish every moment’ shiny faced happy C–ts were to come up to me at this moment in time wi’ that pish I’d stab them in the neck until they were deid and I felt better. I was thinking about my visit to the Western general – thankfully not for treatment [ my heart scan] and how depressing it was. I think the anthem for that Hospital must be, or should be, ‘People get ready’ or ‘Feel like I’m fixin’ to die’. I would O’D if I had to spend my final days there. The fags and joints will eventually kill me, anyway. I’ve got the stop smoking class every week now- what a waste of time. I wish I could just be honest and say look Mrs I like a joint and when I’ve no’ got a joint I like a fag – that’s how it’s ‘aye been’ and , unfortunately, non Hodgkins Lymphoma or not, that’s probably how it always will be- whether I die before Christmas or live till I’m that old I don’t know if I’ve shit my self. Chris is coming through tomorrow and later on there is a wee night out for my work colleagues which I’d like to go to. Anyway that’s me till next time.
The Cancer Diaries -25.9.15
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