The Covid Diaries

It’s 10.30 am on the Good Ship Scud and its been a quiet Day. Apart from the news fae Pumphy about the Shetland Pony being stabbed to death. Who wid dae a thing like that. Stabbin a Tory tae death, maybe, but a Shetland Pony.. A had an awfy pleasant dream last Night involving an ex Girlfriend. As ah mentioned in a previous post, ma dreams always seem tae involve blocked up shitey Lavvies. It was really nice, though. In the dream, ah told Auld Bunty, Chrissie B and Mrs Mabon, that ah’d been re united with her and ah woke up this Morning with a spring in ma step ,as opposed tae Shite on ma Fit. Whenever ah hear a certain James Taylor song it reminds me of her. The line, ‘but I always thought that I’d see you, baby, one more time again. LINDA BRROON ,ah’ll know ye’ve been readin’ ma Shite if ye mention this to me. For anyone else readin’ this ah canny give ye a coconut or a Goldfish if ye guess the song. The weird thing is ah can still remember the lassies phone number. Ah’ve smoked and swallowed mare drugs than a Horse could Shite, ah’ve had a stroke that killed off a bit of ma Brain and ah’ve heidered a Fitba’ Thoosands of times, yet, ah still remember that. Like Adso, in the ‘Name of the Rose’ when ah’m an old man, ma hair White, of all the faces from my past it will be hers that shines most brightly. Unlike Adso, ah knew the girls name. At this point ah’d like to give an Honourable mention to the wonderful Mr Chritopher McGinlay. One of the nicest, cleverest, most entertaining Human beings that you could ever wish tae meet . It was he who First put me onto Umberto Eco and the Name of the Rose Film. After ‘The Thirty Nine steps’ and the 1977 Escorts readers wives Christmas special,it’s ma favourite Book.

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