The Boabby Thomson Cancer Bus were discussing vivid dreams last week and whether or not we have any recurring dreams. I mentioned the fact that every dream I had always had a Lavvy pan chock a block wi shite. It happens all the time- ah’m needin a pee but every toilet ah go to is crammed full of Shite and it’s no’ very nice. Also, ma dreams seem to involve a lot of stair and doors. A recurring dream that involves Barbarella wid be nice.
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Sir, having read your post regarding your recurring dream, I feel I should offer my professional expertise with a view to help you escape this horror. First, if I may, I will give a brief resume of my extensive psychiatric and mental health care experience. I have worked in Bangour village,( mainly driving the minibus to the Oatridge and being in charge of the dominos, which some clients thought were edible.) After this, I served, although management insisted I was interred, at HMP Carstairs, where I was responsible for the personal care of Mary Queen of Scots, Boudica, Cleopatra and Marie Antoinette. Thankfully, these were all the alter egos of a certain Maigrit Thomson.( no relation ) Following this, I spent several years in Gogerburn, where my duties included cleaning the cells of the chronic masturbators, the most prodigious of which was an inmate known as Tam the Wanker. I hope you are impressed with my qualifications. Now, to your dream. After extensive research ( Ladybird book of Dreams ) the only conclusion we ( myself and all the other people in my head ) have reached is : Don’t sleep – simple but I’m sure you’ll agree, effective. Please send fee of 1 Zonk. Yours, Doctor Boabby Thomson (no relation.)