The Dug returns

Ah had tae type aw this Twice. Anyway, ah’ve just returned fae a visit tae Black Dug land and it was Shite as usual. Ah’m listenin’ tae ‘ Watermelon in Easter Hay’ by Frank Zappa and it’s sublime . The West Calder High School friends  website got me thinkin’ aboot life and school days, and growin up and the jobs that ah’ve had and the Women ah’ve known. Luckily ah dinny have tae work because ma body is Fucked, basically, thanks tae over Forty years of Nicotine and Marijuana abuse. Fags are Shit but ah love a joint, or at least ah love bein’ stoned and listenin’ tae ma music or daein’ the Sudoku. Aye, jobs- in ma days of employment ah’ve only had Three bosses who ah wid’ve happily watched bein’ in a freak accident involvin’ a runaway Combine Harvester and a corkscrew. Two of them were English, funnily enough, and they were  a couple of Cunts- no’ because they were English, they were just Cunts. Ah’ve had bosses who were English who were wonderful, kind people-  ye can do somethin’ aboot bein’ a Cunt- ye’ve got tae accept bein’ English, in the knowledge that, wherever ye go in the world, everybody’s goin’ tae think yer a Cunt, regardless of the fact that, chances are, ye’ll be a kind wonderful person. ……. Got the Bordeaux insurance sorted Davy B’s was Twelve quid- 73 Quid for mine. So, it’s official, Davy B is Sixty One Quid healthier than me–fuckin’ annoyin’ that there isny a pound sign on the keyboard- ah have tae type ‘ quid’ in. Davy B also mentioned that he was thinkin’ aboot gettin’ me a wheelchair for Bordeaux- that’s how fucked ah am. Hash tea and Fag patches fae noo on.

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