The Jock the nipper files-part 1

Years after the Jock the nipper murders pumphy’s renowned consulting detective Sherlock Thomson and his brother Boabby were holidaying in the highlands where they encountered who they believed was the infamous Jock.Boabby takes up the story-‘my brother and I had been in Auchtermuckleteuchter for two days when we encountered the decidedly odd little fellow known locally as Short arse.He was around Two feet tall and had had various employment as a Butcher,a merchant seaman,a bouncer in a creche and a bodyguard for Whitney Who’sthumb the smallest woman in the world.We also deduced from his handshake that he was obviously a Weemason.The nipper victims were all horribly mutilated from the knees down and their leggy entrails were arranged in ritualistic fashion which some Nipperologists have linked to the Weemasons.He also had a great knowledge of Pumphy and its surroundings-he knew about the wee Bing and the Lions Heid and the roly poly and he knew the Seven Oaks was shite.We also noticed that on the fingers of his right hand were the letters S,G,S,Y,C.Anyone with a basic knowledge of Pumphy history could tell you that the Initials,S,G,S,Y,C stand for Snarl Grunt Spur Ya Cunt-the rallying cry for the First pumphy claymore volunteers at the battle of Bannockburn.

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